18 by "Weird Al" Yankovic

A polka and parody-free collection of my favorite "Weird Al" songs:

1. Happy Birthday
2. I'll Be Mellow When I'm Dead
3. Mr.Popeil
4. Midnight Star
5. Dare to be Stupid
6. One More Minute
7. Christmas At Ground Zero
8. You Make Me
9. Melanie
10. Generic Blues
11. UHF
12. Airline Amy
13. You Don't Love Me Anymore
14. Frank's 2000" TV
15. Since You've Been Gone
16. Everything You Know Is Wrong
17. Don't Download this Song
18. Skipper Dan

Madonna's Celebration Done Right

A career-spanning Madonna compilation should be a home run, but Madonna's recent Celebration whiffed it. For one, it wasn't in chronological order. For another, there were some curious choices. Here's a corrected version:

Disc 1
1. Everybody
2. Lucky Star
3. Borderline
4. Holiday
5. Material Girl
6. Like a Virgin
7. Dress You Up
8. Crazy For You
9. Into the Groove
10. Papa Don't Preach
11. Open Your Heart
12. Live To Tell
13. La Isla Bonita
14. Causing a Commotion
15. Like a Prayer
16. Express Yourself
17. Cherish
18. Vogue

Disc 2
1. This Used To Be My Playground
2. Deeper and Deeper
3. Rain
4. I'll Remember
5. Secret
6. Take a Bow
7. You'll See
8. Frozen
9. Ray of Light
10. Nothing Really Matters
11. The Power of Goodbye
12. Music
13. Don't Tell Me
14. What It Feels Like For a Girl
15. Hung Up
16. Sorry
17. 4 Minutes
18. Celebration

The 3:49 Club

There are tons of songs with a 3:49 running time. Here are some of the best:

• Ryan Adams - "New York, New York"
• The Beatles - "Across The Universe"
• Belle And Sebastian - "I'm Waking Up To Us"
• Blur - "She's So High"
• Camera Obscura - "Lloyd, I'm Ready To Be Heartbroken"
• Cars - "Hello Again"
• Cheap Trick - "Can't Stop Falling Into Love"
• Chicago - "Stay The Night"
• Kelly Clarkson - "A Moment Like This"
• The Clash - "Clampdown""
• Crash Test Dummies - "Swimming In Your Ocean"
• The Dukes Of Stratosphear - "My Love Explodes"
• Electric Light Orchestra - "Sweet Talkin' Woman"
• Everclear - "Now That It's Over"
• Fall Out Boy - "Sugar We're Goin Down"
• Ben Folds - "Fired"
• Marvin Gaye - "Trouble Man"
• Genesis - "Turn It On Again"
• Jellyfish - "Glutton Of Sympathy")
• Jimmy Eat World - "Lucky Denver Mint"
• Elton John - "Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word"
• Junior Senior - "Take My Time"
• John Lennon - "Crippled Inside"
• Kenny Loggins - "I'm Alright"
• Aimee Mann - "Little Bombs"
• Modest Mouse - "Ocean Breathes Salty"
• Alanis Morissette - "Ironic"
• Nirvana - "All Apologies"
• Old 97's - "Bird In A Cage"
• Positive K - "I Got A Man"
• Prince - "Dirty Mind"
• Radiohead - "No Surprises"
• R.E.M. - "Find The River"
• Otis Redding - "Try A Little Tenderness"
• Rolling Stones - "Brown Sugar"
• The Roots - "The Next Movement"
• Paul Simon - "Homeless"
• The Smiths - "Rubber Ring"
• Spin Doctors - "You Let Your Heart Go Too Fast"
• Cat Stevens - "Hard-Headed Woman"
• Teitur - "You're the Ocean"
• They Might Be Giants - "The Guitar (The Lion Sleeps Tonight)"
• U2 - "Pride (In The Name Of Love)"
• Van Halen "Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love"
• Tom Waits - "Clap Hands"
• Bill Withers - "Use Me"
• XTC - "Life Begins At The Hop"
• "Weird Al" Yankovic - "Airline Amy"

About the blog title

Here are the ten songs whose running times I averaged to reach the magic number of 3:49!

The Beatles - The Ballad Of John And Yoko (3:00)
Beach Boys - Don't Worry Baby (2:51)
Neil Diamond - The Boat That I Row (2:40)
Jay-Z - 99 Problems (3:54)
Elton John - Your Song (4:01)
Elvis Presley - Suspicious Minds (4:34)
Smokey Robinson And The Miracles - Tears Of A Clown (3:03)
Simon & Garfunkel - America (3:35)
Talking Heads - This Must Be The Place (Naive Melody) (4:56)
Toto - Africa (4:19)

Top 15 "We're Through!" Songs

15. Dandy Warhols - The Last High (from Welcome To The Monkey House)
14. Annie Lennox - Why (from Diva)
13. John Lennon - How Do You Sleep? (from Imagine)
12. XTC - Your Dictionary (from Apple Venus, Vol.1)
11. The Honeydogs - Over You (from Everything I Bet You)
10. Sinead O'Connor - Nothing Compares 2 U (from I Do Not Want What I Haven't Got)
9. Ben Folds Five - Song For The Dumped (from Whatever And Ever, Amen)
8. The Shins - Gone For Good (from Chutes Too Narrow)
7. Rhett Miller - Come Around (from The Instigator)
6. Paul Simon - Train In The Distance (from Hearts And Bones)
5. Fleetwood Mac - Go Your Own Way (from Rumours)
4. Kelly Clarkson - Since U Been Gone (from Breakaway)
3. Fiona Apple - Limp (from When The Pawn...)
2. Aimee Mann - Believed You Were Lucky (from Everything's Different Now)
1. Alanis Morissette - You Oughta Know (from Jagged Little Pill)

Top 5 Automotive Love Songs

5. Jimmy Eat World - Night Drive (from Futures)
4. Scissor Sisters - Lovers In The Backseat (from self-titled)
3. Billy Joel - Keepin' The Faith (from An Innocent Man)
2. Death Cab For Cutie - We Looked Like Giants (from Transatlanticism)
1. Meat Loaf - Paradise By The Dashboard Light (from Bat Out Of Hell)

Top 5 Side One, Track Ones

5. Wilco - I Am Trying To Break Your Heart (from Yankee Hotel Foxtrot)
4. Prince - Let's Go Crazy (from Purple Rain)
3. Elton John - Funeral For A Friend (Love Lies Bleeding) (from Goodbye Yellow Brick Road)
2. Beach Boys - Wouldn't It Be Nice (from Pet Sounds)
1. Michael Jackson - Wanna Be Starting Something (from Thriller)

Top 10 Songs About Onanism

10. Depeche Mode - Never Let Me Down Again (from Music For The Masses)
9. Dannii Minogue - Vibe On (from Neon Nights)
8. Britney Spears - Touch Of My Hand (from In The Zone)
7. Tweet - Oops (Oh My) (from Southern Hummingbird)
6. The Vapors - Turning Japanese (from New Clear Days)
5. The Who - Pictures Of Lily (from Magic Bus)
4. Billy Idol - Dancing With Myself (from self-titled)
3. Queen - You're My Best Friend (from Night At The Opera)
2. Cyndi Lauper - She Bop (from She's So Unusual)
1. DiVinyls - I Touch Myself (from self-titled)

Top 10 Songs About Stretching The Truth

10. Gram Parsons - How Much I've Lied
9. James Taylor - I Was Only Telling A Lie (from JT)
7. Huey Lewis & The News - Some Of My Lies Are True (from self-titled)
6. Thompson Twins - Lies (from Quick Step & Side Kicks)
5. Toad The Wet Sprocket - Liars Everywhere (from Pale)
4. Chris Issak - Lie To Me (from self-titled)
3. Big Star - Don't Lie To Me (from #1 Record)
3. They Might Be Giants - Fibber Island (from No!)
2. Fleetwood Mac - Little Lies (from Tango In The Night)
1. The Posies - Everybody Is A Fucking Liar (from Amazing Disgrace)

Top 11 Songs About Gender or Sexuality Confusion

11. Aerosmith - Dude (Looks Like A Lady) (from Permanent Vacation)
10. Maniac Street Preachers - Born A Girl (from This Is My Truth Tell Me Yours)
9. The Who - I'm A Boy (from Live At Leeds)
8. White Town - Your Woman (from Women In Technology)
7. Counting Crows - I Wish I Was A Girl (from This Desert Life)
6. Louden Wainwright III - I Wish I Was A Lesbian (from Grown Man)
5. Garbage - Androgony (from Beautifulgarbage)
4. The Replacements - Anadrogynous (from Let It Be)
3. The Kinks - Lola (from Lola Versus Powerman)
2. Dukes Of The Stratosphear - Have You Seen Jackie? (from Psonic Psunspot)
1. Prince - If I Was Your Girlfriend (from Sign O' The Times)